As requested.

Dearest Matthew.
Roses are red,
Violets blue,
nobody’s quite as annoying as you.
I’m ever so sorry,
I really truly am
that the side of your face
came so close to my hand,
I sort of regret it,
this genius bard
wishes she’d hit you
five times as hard.
Why we are friends
I never will know
but sorry, again, that I dealt you
such a low blow 😉

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