I’m okay, for now, for today

Today I want to feel the sun blanket me.
I want the wind to muss my hair so I don’t
have to worry if it looks right or not.
Unmanageable mane, I used to worry that it wasn’t flat.
And then every haircare product has
“extra volume” plastered across it. Southern belle.
The odd straw comment remains but I laugh along,
there are more important things to spend my worries on.
Sometimes I think I want to be thin, bouncy thin,
like the girls with nice boobs in nice pants.
But I don’t, I just want the admiration of the girls
with the nice things and nice thighs.
And I have nice thighs. Nice jiggly ones with a few white stripes,
just a different kind of good to the others,
a smidge of proof that you’re a mother
equally as proud, though they worked harder.
Maybe when I’m older I’ll change the way I eat,
same amount of veg just less of the sweets
but for now, I’m 21.  I’ve lost enough of the carefree
feeling that used to make me. I don’t need
to worry about the size of my cheeks
when I can run after eve, and lift her high as the moon.
I walk the long ways but I hate hate hate being sweaty
considerably more than the size of my belly.


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