Find the bottle opener.
If the bastard evades you, locate the ever loyal,
and dependable bent butter knife at the back of the drawer.
Step two, open and consume all beer you can find
hidden at regular intervals throughout the house.
Step Three, is to drunkenly text your loved ones or partner
because there’s no way they would want to miss out
on that idea you just had, for socks that warm your tummy too.
Ooop. Tights exist, don’t they?
Step four. Open all five seperate tubs of ice cream
stowed in the freezer, eat approximately one spoonful
from each flavour, before forgetting what you were doing~
and leaving them out to melt.
Step five, Realise that the stair gate is now
an impossible-to-reach goal,
spend five minutes searching the kitchen for a mushroom,
(to level up), promptly give up at the same moment
you fall asleep on the floor, next to the sink.
Sleep well, for your troubles are gone.