Today I became the type of girl that buries her nose
into the inner spine of magazines, and inhales.
And makes noises.
Today I also became the kind of person who googles things
like “how to make small talk.” It was ten seconds into
skimming the search results that I realised they were
all aimed at men and promptly stopped reading. I decided
that I like big talk, and I like smiling politely. I decided
that I like to overcome my nerves, and I also like my boyfriend,
quite a bit.
Today I remained the person ready to write more, because it is
worth it. Because at least ten people will read it. which is at
least two thousand times my poems have been enjoyed.
I reminded myself that I like learning french, and that learning
to code will be really useful. I reminded myself that I can get out
of bed whenever I want to, I’m not confined.
Today I stopped worrying as much about what I will wear tomorrow
or what my hair will look like. I no longer care for the nagging worries
hounding me for the last week because I will have paid the rent tomorrow. As soon as I was able. And that is okay with me. I did my best. Today I
did some things I usually hide from.
Today was good.